The ultimate weight loss program

Joe was reading the news paper a year ago and came across this article stating that with this ultimate weight loss program he could loss those unwanted inches in a month’s time. Knowing how desperate he was he decided to give it a try so he calls the weight loss company to get information on the program and then to get into this program.

A few days later he decides that he wants to be in the “10 pound club “, so he purchase their 7 day plan. After joining the program, he hears a knock on his door. When he opens it, he sees a very attractive middle age women standing there in a sleek, knock out sweat suit. In her hand she holds up a sign, “If you catch me, you can have me” and then she takes off. Well, just like any man would he takes off after her down the block and around the corner. A mile later he stops totally out of breath. She was just too fast. For the next 6 days this same thing happens and he gets the same result, he could never catch her. Low and behold though… he losses 10 pounds in one week.

He decides that he isn’t done as of yet and calls that company back and asks for their “lose 15 pound club” and after a few brief questions, is accepted into the program. A day after joining he hears that knock on his door. This time he is really ready for whoever shows up. After opening the door he sees this very good looking women in a string bikini and she holds up a sign… “If you catch me, you can have me”. Immediately he takes off running after her but because she is in such good shape he never catches her. For another 6 days he does this and on the 6th day he gets close but doesn’t’ catch her. After that week was over he steps on the scale and once again he loses 15 pounds.

Well, now he thinks, no he knows he is ready to loss the rest of the weight he has, so he calls the company and asks them for “the 50 pound lost club”. After extensive questioning he finds out that it is a 2 week program. He doesn’t care because he has been thru the previous two plans and he was truly determined to catch whoever they sent. The next day the door bell rings and he throws on his shoes and runs to the door and opens it and he was very surprised at who he saw. There stood a big buff, very strong looking man and he holds up a sign and it says, “If I catch you, your mine!”

In two weeks he lost 65 pounds…

Enjoy your day.

My personal training diary

My son, for my 50th birthday got me a membership at Parkers Place Total fitness in town and I was really happy he did. I had wanted to do that for a long while now but never had the guts enough to go in and talk to the owner Kevin there. My son tells me that he is a really nice guy. Well, we’ll see.

Monday morning:

Well, my appointment is for 6:30am and boy it was hard to get out of bed today. I got there exactly at 6:30am and Kevin was waiting for me there at the door with the biggest welcoming smile I have ever seen. He put me on the treadmill for a few minutes and asked me questions. He then did a bit of an assessment on me and I got to find out how to use all the machines and how weak I really am. Boy, my son was right Kevin is a pretty cool guy.


Tuesday Morning:

This morning I drank a whole pot of coffee just to wake up and just got to the gym with a minute to spare. Kevin had me on the treadmill today and my legs felt very wobbly. Today he had me on there for 15 minutes and something strange started to happen, I began to get this strange sensation and my body began to get warm. I went to take off my sweat shirt and he told me not to. Did he not understand I was uncomfortable? After 15 minutes he had me lay down in this bench he called an Olympic Bench and push up this very heavy bar. I was proud that I was able to do that… then he puts weights on it!!! Then he wanted me to do some seated squats. I did 25 of them and felt great! Kevin really provided me with motivation today. This is my new life now, I’m stoked!

Wednesday Morning:

Shaving, brushing my teeth, washing my hair and using the rest room have now become dreadful options. I woke up this morning and felt as though a semi had hit me. I figured out that if I put my tooth brush down on the counter and then bring my teeth down to the brush it was less painful. Aren’t beards in now anyway? Driving to work was ok as long as I did not steer or have to make sudden stops. I never knew I had those muscles before. I think I ran over the curve when I got to work and I didn’t care.

When I got to the gym Kevin was upset with me because he told me that I need to stop yelling and making so much noise… and I haven’t even started the workout yet. His smile today was looking very devious. Goodness I am beginning to hate that smile. And why does he always say, “Enjoy!”? There is very little enjoyment in what I am doing. My legs hurt so much that Kevin decided to put me on the stair “monster” to warm up. Kevin tells me that it is an alternative to the treadmill. Why do I need to use that when most buildings I go into have elevators? Isn’t every day leg day?

Thursday Morning:

I pulled up hoping that Kevin wasn’t there. Yup… there he is with that shit-eating-grin on his face. I swear if he says the word “enjoy” to me today I’m going to punch him. Wait I can’t, I can’t lift my arms above my hips. It took me 20 minutes to get my sneakers on and I think I almost cramped up. I really think I am going to hate Wednesday’s. He kept telling me the Wednesday is leg day. I think he is trying to kill me.

Friday Morning:

I really don’t like Kevin right now. He is a very evil man. This morning my legs hurt so much that I could not walk down a flight of stairs without holding onto the railings. Sitting on the toilet is no longer an option at this point. Thank God I don’t drive a stick shift car. I’m thinking that ibuprofen is going to be my best friend today.
Today that jerk wants me to work my arms. Haven’t I been doing that all along? He says that today is tricept and bicept day. They look perfectly fine to me, just leave them alone! That jerk told me to get on the treadmill to loosen up my legs and when I got on it, 2 minutes later I fell off and ran into the other Personal Trainer there. All she did was laugh, pick me up and put me back on the treadmill. This is truly an evil place.

Saturday Morning:

This morning, after yesterdays work out, my arms were so sore that I could not change the channel on the television and ended up watching the weather channel until I had to leave to go get weighed in. I was 30 minutes late because I had to use my life alert button to get someone to get me out of bed and dress me.
Well I did weigh in and low and behold I lost 11 pounds! WOW! Kevin, that Sadistic Personal Touchier, must know what he is doing, he gave me Sunday off and I need it. Back to the grind on Monday!

Kevin’s Personal training workout for the Work-a-holic excuse maker

So here is a 7 day workout regiment for all my work-a-holic friends that seem not to have time to get up a good sweat.

Day 1
Beat around the bush several times a day
Jump to conclusions all the time
Climb the walls 3 times
(Get some water at this point then continue)
Wade through the daily paper from start to finish

Day 2
Remember to think about stretching
Drag your heels constantly
Push your luck all the time
Make mountains out of mole hills
Hit the nail on the head at least 3 times

Day 3
Bend over backwards or at least tell your trainer and your friends you did
Jump onto the latest bandwagon
Run around in circles all day

Day 4 (Today is a mental day)
Talk to your friends on how you would run the country and what our President is doing wrong
Have your friends talk about you and how wonderful you are to them for bending over backwards for them yesterday
Remember for today you need to add fuel to your fire

Day 5

Put your foot in your mouth regularly
Start the ball rolling at least 5 times today
And tonight go over the edge with your significant other

Day 6
After last night’s mess you will need to pick up the pieces
Raise the roof
Lift a pint of beer 4 times today
Skip the washing up, you did that last week anyway

Day 7 (this should be Sunday so…)
Kneel in prayer all day
Bow your head in thanksgiving and don’t fall asleep
Raise your hands in praise
Hug and cuddle someone and encourage them

After this seven day workout you should be pretty fit to be tired.

Don't believe the hype!

I was just listen to the radio and the announcer comes on the air and says, “Great News! After further studies the FDA has come out and stated that Diet soda is not bad for us and that the amount of ASPARTAME in one soda is not enough to alter our blood numbers.” She went on further to say, “According to the FDA we would need to drink more than 20 sodas a day for that to happen.”

So there you have it. I call this the “OMG people are getting smart and we are losing money syndrome”, so the manufacturers go out and pay whoever they have to just so they can have some “expert” source state that diet soda is OK to drink.

MONSANTO’S was the originator of this sugar substitute and since they have lost their patent, many others have come out with their versions of the same product. Here is the kicker MONSANTO’S along with many other manufacturers give funds to the American Diabetes Association, The American Dietetic Association and the Conference of the American College of Physicians. I know this because it was recently in the New York Times.

Once the report came out about the true facts about ASPARTAME, I know these companies at first thought that there would not be too much backlash but once the stuff hit the fan and people have begun the process of getting off of that addictive substance the manufacturers panicked and pulled the MONEY card and low and behold a few months later we here, “Hey you know… my bad… diet soda is not bad for you… it’s actually ok to drink :)”.

Guys, the facts are the facts. ASPARTAME, no matter in any quantity is bad for you. It has been proven that at 86 degrees F ASPARTAME chemically changes to formaldehyde and then to formic acid which in turn causes metabolic acidosis (that just sounds bad). The average person that drinks diet soda has 3-4 sodas a day and they think that it is HEALTHIER than regular soda, well it isn’t and never has been. Too much ASPARTAME in your system will do the following to you if you suffer from tinnitus or fibromyalgia;
• Spasms
• Shooting pains
• Numbness in the legs
• Cramps
• Vertigo
• Dizziness
• Headaches
• Tinnitus
• Joint pain
• Unexplained depression
• Anxiety attacks
• Slurred speech
• Blurred vision
• Memory loss
If you have any of those systems and you drink Diet soda of any kind you might just have ASPARTAME poisoning.

Now it is reversible and the way to reverse what you have done is simple, stop drinking Diet soda and be on alert for other products that have this killer in them. Dr H.J. Roberts stated this in his lecture and he stated something else, “NO DRUGS WERE NECESSARY TO REVERS THIS PROBLEM”. Well that works for me.

Guys don’t believe the hype even if they try and down play the proof that is out there for all the public to read. Remember, they don’t really care about you. They only care about their bottom line. Don’t believe me? Can you say “Cigarette Manufacturers?” Enjoy your day.

The Ken and Barbie doll syndrome

Media tells us that for us to be attractive we need to look like Ken or Barbie. Women need to have the 36,24,36 figure and men need to have that 40 inch chest and 28 inch waist and 8 pack abs. But is this really what makes us attractive? Is this really realistic? Can everyone look like those dolls?

As we all know we are all different. Not one of use is alike in anyway. I was watching the Ms Universe pageant a few years back and this issue of beauty came up at my house. I was sitting on the couch and watching these ladies strut their stuff and I noticed something, every nationality had a different body type. I noticed that the Chinese woman was much more slender thru the hips and glutes. She was built more straight up and down. The woman from Africa was fuller in the hip and leg regions. The woman from Sweden and Brazil tended to be taller and full figured and the woman from the US was a little shorter and tended to have slender hips. But every one of them was very attractive. I did notice one other thing; none of them looked like Barbie and those that did never made it to the semi finals or finals.

In this American culture we have men and women that are trying to look like something they are just not suppose to look like. We have men and women that are trying to be something they are just not suppose to be and it is causing a lot of people have huge identity crisis’s and others to try and take drastic measures and jeopardize their health. Now don’t get me wrong, I am not saying that we should stop striving to be the best we can be. But what I am saying is that instead of trying to be someone else… be yourself whatever that may look like.

Now for my lazy readers, that should not give you the excuse to say, “See I am who I am” and not strive for perfection. That is a lame and lazy excuse which should not even be entertained. Remember you should always strive to be your very best. There is freedom in being healthy and not in having to be slave to medications know that.

Fitness goes beyond outward appearance. Healthy fitness starts from the inside and bubbles outward. It starts with proper nutrition and exercise and trust me the outward appearance will come. Don’t try and take short cuts they always lead to dead ends. Work hard and stay focused because the benefits are incredible, trust me I know.

Are we ever too old?

Science has proven that as we age there are certain chemicals in our body that are not regenerating as fast. Science has been proven that our reaction time gets slower and slower every year from age 30 on. It has been proven that our recovery time increases with age. I have found that my son and I can do the same workout and a day later he is ready to hit it hard again and I need an extra day or two to recover. It has been proven that our muscles begin to deplete at a quicker rate after age 65. Men reach their physical peak at age 26-28 and women at about age 16. So the question still remains, after age 40 are we too old to get in the best physical condition that we have ever been in? How about ages 50 or 60 is it too late?

The reality is that I will never be able to run 10 flat in the 100 meters nor jump 7 feet in the high jump ever again. Those days are over, however the real question should be can we slow the aging process down so that we don’t decline at an already rapid rate? A wise man once told me, “You’re not old until your cold.” This man plays competitive softball in the senior league and is 85 years of age. If you saw him you would not think he was of that age. Another man, who just broke the world record in the 400 meters for men 90 plus years of age told me, “Once you stop, then it ends… so don’t ever stop. Keep challenging yourself and take care of your body and it will take care of you.” Then my dad told me one day while walking with him to the Penn Relays, “Kevin never stop running. Never stop running because once you do, trying to get back to where you finished is almost impossible.”

All of these men are well past 70 years of age and are very much respected in my eyes and the wisdom they have imparted to me is priceless. Here it is in a nut shell. We are all aging, but the question is how quickly do you want to go down this slippery slope? By constantly challenging your body to improve, you are slowing down our already declining process. We will get weaker. But at what rate do you want that to happen? We will get slower. But at what rate do you want that to happen? We will get injured. But will we allow those injuries to totally stop us?

If you look at professional athletes, especially those in their 30’s and even 40’s, you may say to yourself that they are just super human. I disagree with people who say that. My response to them is that those people just get it. They challenge their bodies to maintain a specific level of fitness. Yes, each year it gets harder and harder, but never the less they try and maintain it. Whereas, at younger ages you could take days off at a time and still bounce back pretty quickly, now maybe you have to do something everyday just to maintain. By doing this, we would be slowing down our aging process and the best thing is this… we would be doing it without taking pills.

No, we are never too old to still achieve heights we thought we could never, in our wildest dreams, achieve. Let’s get active and stay active and enjoy life the way it was suppose to be.

Are they really unhealthy?

A friend just told me that Ebony Magazine had written an article on how unhealthy black women have become. In this article it stated that 80% of black women were very obese and the trend was getting worse every year. When he text me this, at first, I felt like texting back, “Why are the percentages so low that they quoted?” But then I gave it some real thought and my mind went back to my African trip and I remember all those beautiful black women I met and conversed with. I can actually say that each one of them was, according to our BMI chart, obese. But the question I had for myself was, as heavy as they looked, these women would walk miles every day. These women are much more active than I will ever be and it is all out of necessity. Are they really unhealthy? When I look at African Black women and compare them to American Black women I see many comparisons and one of them is body type. This need to be taken into consideration. We need to consider people groups and not make blanket statements.

Let’s look at another people group, Germans. These women are robust and hard working. They are very strong and in some cases all the ones I know are much stronger than some of the men I have at the gym. If you looked at them and did their BMI you would think “obese”. Then look at the Chinese, when they are young and middle aged they are thin and frail, does that make them healthy because their BMI says that they are under 25%?

If you recall I wrote a blog on the Barbie and Ken doll syndrome and how we try and put people in a box and tell them that for them to be really healthy they need to look like this, eat like this, walk like this and sound like that. Every women needs to have a 36-24-36 figure and each man has to have a 45 inch chest and washboard abs and a 28 inch waist. The health industry wants us to feel as though we need to look like that and if we fall short of it, well then, we need to be fixed to get healthy and they have the magic pills for us to take.

I have never followed the BMI because it is very faulty. Did you know that according to their BMI I am Obese, yea me. I have 6% body fat and my lean muscle mass is, well let’s not even go there. Am I unhealthy? I think not. Now I know that the BMI was originally designed by actuaries to show Insurance companies the statistical probability of a certain person at a certain weight, height and age and weight the probability of sickness or even death. For years it has worked for them, but can we look at a whole population of people and just blanket say that they are mostly all out of shape? I think not. I hope not!

Are the majority of black women out of shape and obese? I don’t know but what I do know is that we, as Americans, need to begin to take responsibility for our own health situation and make it much better than it is. We need to hold each other accountable because in the end… our country depends on it.