Friday, August 19, 2011


Everyone at some time in their life goes through it. No one is exempt but how we react and deal with that state can determine the path of one’s life. But what is depression. Depression to me is when our expectations of life are not met and we fall short of some goal we thought that we would achieve now understanding that the probability of achieving that goal is small at best. As an example the marriage that breaks up. You went into that marriage with the idea that you both would grow old together and watch the grand if not great grand children play. Now the marriage has ended. Or that business person who wanted to be a millionaire only to find out that their dreams of becoming a millionaire are a pipe dream at best. Or the woman who desperately wants to have a child only to find out that she or her husband cannot because of physical reason. Or the dream job that you had now has been cut either in pay or termination and now you need to find another job to make ends meet. All of these plus others can and do lead to depression.

Life is like the stock market. You watch it go up and up and you think you have mastered it. You watch your stock portfolio get higher and higher and then one day without warning it crashes and begins a downward spiral that seemingly feels out of control. Most people at this point begin selling things off to keep from losing everything, but is that the real time to do that? Quite the opposite, you should be buying more shares as prices drop so that you can purchase cheaper shares so that over the long term your portfolio will appreciate that much more when the market begins to go up again. Most people just sell off and take their losses never to invest again.

Isn’t life like that? For weeks, months or years you are riding high on life. Everything seems to be going really well. The kids are doing well in school. Your health is perfect. Your job couldn’t be better. Your friends look at you in awe and see you as the perfect person and their idol. Then one day the bottom begins to fall out. You lose your job do to downsizing. You get a real bad report from your doctor about your health or the heath of a loved one. A child has done something that will have an altering lifetime effect on their life or maybe the perfect storm happens where you have your business and personal life crash all at once. Depression sets in and you begin to ask yourself the question why. You begin to doubt the people around you and you wonder if you will ever get out of the situation you are in. You get so low you begin to doubt life itself. Now what do you do?

What I can tell you is that just like the stock market problems are temporary and how you deal in the situation will determine the course of your life going forward. Now I said “deal in the situation” not “deal with the situation” understand that. Dealing in a situation is much different than dealing with a situation. A positive way of dealing in a situation is our attitude telling us that this problem is only temporary and that in the end everything will work out. Now that is not to say you don’t try and work out the problem which is “dealing with” that particular situation. To consistently have a stress-less demeanor we must realize that whatever the problem, we have a higher being that has our back and that what we are going through, in the end, is really temporary and that there is a greater good that needs to and will come from this situation. You need to look past your current issues and focus on your end goals whatever they may be.

I know how depression can get you down. I know how you begin to doubt everything including life itself. Trust me I know. However here is an idea you can use that worked for me. Surround yourself with people who really love and care for you. These people need to love you “unconditionally” and it may not be those who you think it should be. In most cases it is someone that you least expect. Open your heart and don’t close down. So many think that in the case of feeling depressed they need to go into a closet and hid never to be seen until they can be happy again and I need to tell you that that is the biggest lie one could ever tell or believe. We need each other and it is your turn to get the physical, mental or monetary help you may need.

Someone once told me that if you help another person out, it makes your problems seem much small or manageable. I don’t know how true that is but what I do know is this, while in your depression state so many things are going through your mind that you need to not trust your own thoughts and feelings. This is the time when they will lead you astray, but rely on the people you trust around you to give you good advice and follow it. Remember only those with no added ulterior motive. By doing this you are giving yourself the ability to replenish and think about the future. In a depression state our eyes are clouded with confused thoughts and feelings and every decision you make will be more for pleasure in some way more so than common sense.

Depression is an emotion we all go thru. How we handle it can determine many things in our life. If you are in a depressive state find those unconditional friends to come along side you and help you. Don’t rely on yourself but trust in that higher power and know that what you are going thru is temporary and he that higher power has got your back.