Tuesday, January 14, 2014

Living in the past

What do you do when your life goes into turmoil? What do you do when everything seems to be going wrong? You have tried to change and maybe for years you have been able to make the necessary changes you needed to, but all of a sudden, like a car blind siding you, life throws you a big curve ball.

Maybe it‘s a divorce that you didn’t think would happen or an illness that surprised you. Maybe it is an economic situation that you have been fighting for years that has now seemed to rear its ugly head again. Maybe you have been in a ten year cycle that you can’t seem to break. What do you do when you’re in the midst of the problem?

Most people, unfortunately, revert back to many of their old ways regardless if those ways are harmful to them or not. Some psychologists think that this is because there is security in the past and fear when it comes to trying to understand our future. We find comfort in what we use to do because we have an idea of the responses or results we may get. Gamblers may go back to gambling even though in that past life they may have lost their shirt but in every occasion they were able to rebound in some way. Smokers may go back to smoking and even when they know the harm that cigarettes will cause; it is the comforting element of reliving a past that in some way makes you feel you can handle it, again.

I personally believe that when we make positive life changes that life will have a way of testing us. Are we truly who we now say we are or are we just going to cave in when times get tough? Most of us, including myself, want to quit and give in but is that really the right thing to do? Of course the answer is no, but in reality when life gets hard and you so desperately need a break from the fight and there is no one that can truly help you nor understands you or your situation is it that easy to stay the course? No it isn’t and in most cases darn near impossible. Or it may at least seem that way.

In life I believe that we all go thru a maturation process that eventually leads us down a path of understanding what the true meaning of life is. When we go thru these struggles that life brings us and we question our purpose of being it is easier, much easier to quit than to stay the course. However by staying to course, this strengthens your resolve to solidify our new way of thinking and acting. I believe that problems and stresses are meant to strengthen us and teach us. I believe that when we go thru those times in our life when our world is turned upside down, we need to stay focused and believe in the changes we made and not look back into our past. Resolving the problems and then going forward will always bring a positive outlook. Quitting and reverting back to past habits will only bring about negative results.

With that stated, let’s stay focused on our new formed positive habits and stop dwelling in the past or feeling sorry for ourselves when we go thru problems. Let’s remember that problems are temporary but how we resolve those life issues will be permanent.

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